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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27674210">Minerva McGonagall vs the Marauders</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlefrost/pseuds/littlefrost'>littlefrost</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Compliant, Fluff, Gen, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Snippets</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 00:02:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>908</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27674210</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlefrost/pseuds/littlefrost</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Minerva McGonagall was awoken from her pleasant dream of dancing biscuits by a loud bump and an awful amount of swearing on the Saturday morning after term started.<br/>--<br/>The Marauders break curfew again. McGonagall is displeased.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Minerva McGonagall vs the Marauders</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>My friend wrote this.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Minerva McGonagall was awoken from her pleasant dream of dancing biscuits by a loud bump and an awful amount of swearing on the Saturday morning after term started.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She groaned as she heard an angry voice that sounded very much like James Potter’s.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Merlin’s beard, Padfoot, do you have to be so bloody loud?!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And then a brash voice: “Well, <em> excuse </em> me for not being able to keep my aim straight when Wormtail keeps putting me in a stranglehold every time he starts to fall off!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Timidly: “We’re twenty feet off the ground, I don’t want to fall and break my neck!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And then a long-suffering voice: “I <em> told </em> you this was a bad idea, but <em> nooo, </em> when James Potter has an idea, no one listens to the responsible prefect.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Exactly, you’re no bloody fun-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She sighed and pushed herself out of bed. Somehow they had had the brilliant idea to crash something into the wall outside of her bedroom. Lucky for her, Now she’d have to deal with them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Can’t I at least get some peace in sleep?” she muttered to herself, pushing open the door to the hallway.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She supposed she shouldn’t be surprised anymore by their antics, but seeing three beds dangling in midair holding the four students she’d spent five years trying to wrangle into behavior still made her shake her head.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Young Sirius Black poked his head down over the side. “Good morning, Professor,” he said in a jaunty voice. “Wonderful weather we’re having, yeah?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em> What? </em> ” she asked. “ <em> What </em> are you four doing out of bed so early, and <em> why </em> do you have three floating beds?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Now Potter poked his head over. “We were going to use all four, but Pad- but Sirius accidentally set Peter’s bed on fire, ma’am, so they’re sharing.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Remus Lupin groaned and looked over the side of his bed, his face bright pink. “I tried to stop them, but they talked me into it. I didn’t think we’d be caught . . . I’m sorry we woke you, Professor.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Minerva inhaled deeply. “But <em> why </em> are you out of bed? I hope you know this means detention, and twenty points from Gryffindor for each of you.” <br/><br/>Potter grinned cockily. “Professor, see, we’re not out of bed. Except for Peter, but his bed is on fire. What else were we to do?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“The rule is ‘don’t be out of bed,’” Peter Pettigrew chimed in. “Technically, we’re staying in bed while wandering the castle.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Minerva swallowed a laugh.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The bed that Pettigrew and Black were sitting on tilted downwards, nearly spilling Pettigrew to the floor. He screamed and latched onto Black’s sleeve, causing the bed to tilt even more.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Get OFF! Don’t make me fall too!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“If you hadn’t set my bed to flames, this wouldn’t have happened!” Pettigrew wailed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“If you didn’t weigh so bloody much, we would be stable!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Minerva waved her wand and all three beds floated to the floor.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Pettigrew released his death grip on Black, who gave him a disgusted look. Young Lupin at least had the decency to look ashamed, while Potter grinned widely at Minerva, and winked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Detention tomorrow night, for all of you.” she said thinly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There was an outburst of protest.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Come on, we didn’t do anything wrong-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Show us where we broke the rule-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“My bed is ASHES!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>”I understand, that’s completely fair. I-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>”Shut UP, Moony!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We stayed in bed-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Don’t punish us for being smart and finding loopholes-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I didn’t want to sleep on the floor-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“ENOUGH!” Minerva shouted. “You broke curfew, <em> manhandled </em> school property, and don’t even have the decency to be ashamed of yourselves!” With a wave of her wand, she sent the beds back to the dormitory.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Black blinked. “We didn’t leave our beds once.”<br/><br/></p>
<p>Potter nudged Black. “We could have been asleep and someone else levitated our beds into the hallway.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well obviously that’s not what happened, but what they say is accurate, we didn’t break any rules,” Lupin added thoughtfully.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She sighed. “It’s not the literal sense of the rule that is being applied, it’s the . . . the <em> implied </em> sense! Being in bed means you aso stay in your dormitory.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, but what if someone had a disease and they could only interpret the literal meaning of what was said?” Pettigrew added. “Would you change the entire rulebook just for them?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So when it says don’t go into the ladies toilet, they might think you just couldn’t go into the actual toilet, and <em> could </em> enter the bathroom,” Black sniggered.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“There isn’t a <em> rule </em> against levitating your bed through the hallways in the middle of the night,” said Lupin.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well, there isn’t a <em> rule </em> that says it’s bad to kill others, but you don’t do <em> that! </em>” She was getting exasperated.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Potter cut his eyes at her and smirked. “How do you know we don’t?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“OH, FOR THE LOVE OF-” she flailed for words. “Detention! All of you! Right now! And tomorrow too! If you’re so intent on being up at night, you can copy lines while doing it!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She marched them up to her office, where they copied the line, “School rules are in place for a reason. I mustn’t find loopholes and exploit them,” until nine in the morning. She let Lupin off a bit early because she knew he wasn’t the ringleader of this prank, and she kept Black until noon for setting Pettigrew’s bed on fire.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>All the while, she had to hold in a smile.</p>
<p> </p>
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